What does it matter?,, vix
by Go-ruden Kiba
Summary: Gaara's not having a good time. it seems that his sister is the only one that cares about him... but what if there was another? m for future chapters not just Hayate, but Zaku too as second characters.
1. Lies

K, so I felt like making a yaoi drabble with Gaara as the main character. It's a bit AU. The only thing that's really AU is that there is no sand to protect Gaara, everyone lives in the same village, Kankurou is OOC, not too much of the "jitsu" stuf, and there are no demons. Otherwise, I guess that I kinda made it like the original. If there is more that isn't right, let me know k? I'd rather fix what needs to be fixed before I make another chapter. If you don't' like Gaara/almost-every-yaoi-pairing-under-the-sun, then don't read. No flames please. You've been warned, if you consider it to be "shit like this", then don't read it. **IT WAS SPUR OF THE MOMENT!** If at the end, you find that you didn't like it, then don't review, please. Rated for future chapters, and I don't own Naruto or any songs or whatever else I put in the fic at any time. Thank you.

1  
Lies

He didn't blame anyone. It was his fault after all. He was the one that forgot that Kankurou didn't like the news on after ten o'clock at night. He was the one that forgot that the wine bottle had to be replaced. He was the one that forgot that he had to be home at four. It was his fault. All his fault. His fault. His. Gaara kept telling himself that as he applied liberal amounts of eye-makeup around his right eye. The left one only needed a little today. Kankurou made sure of that. The left eye would only need a small amount to even out the bruise, make it look like it always did. No problem… now if he could only see out of that said left eye.

He looked at the white scar that was forever above the same eye, and began to paint it over with red, making it look like a tattoo, rather than what it really was. "Love", what a stupid thing to carve into someone's head. But there it was, the kanji for love written forever into Gaara's flesh. By his brother. Not that he ever felt any, but o-well. The makeup done, he stood back to look back into his reflection, and sighed. His red hair was limp, framing his perpetually thin/white face. His red long-sleeved outfit highlighted his hair… hair so unlike his older siblings. The black eyeliner covered his eyelids, and some of the sockets around them, making his eyes look ever more sunken than they really were. Not that it was all his brother's fault. Gaara had a hard time sleeping, as the voices taunted him in his sleep worse than they did during the day. So he wore extreme eye coverage everyday, to hide the insomniac eyes that were his.

He stepped into his sandals, straitened his fishnet arm-gloves and leggings, slipped his leather sash with the white cloth that hung from the front and back over his shoulder, tightened the straps, and put on the other white sash (that hung the other way) over his other shoulder. Grabbing his normal handful of hair gel, he ran his hands though the red locks so they stood up again, then wiped his fingers on the towel that was ever present in his bathroom. It turns out that Temari liked to embroider symbols onto towels. Looking at himself in the mirror one more time, Gaara picked up his jug-shaped backpack, slung it on his back, and trudged into the kitchen.

Temari sat at the table, a cup of coffee in one hand, and an icepack in the other. The icepack was being held to her shoulder, where a thick bruise was visible under her nightshirt. His older sister took a sip of her drink, then smiled faintly at her little brother, pushing another full cup of the potent liquid across the table at him.

"'Morning Gaara, how did you sleep?"

"I didn't." She chuckled sadly at his reply.

"I'm not too surprised. When was the last time you slept? If you want, I can get some one in the village to let you sleep over for a night. You're still in school, you need your rest."

"It's not him," Gaara looked at the floor for a moment, then went over to the cabinet to find something to eat, picking up the cup. Black coffee, just the way he liked it. Strong, and nothing in it. "He's only part of it. Temari, I think that I'm loosing my mind. I'm always looking over my shoulder, thinking that someone's following me. And it's even worse at night; I hear people yelling at me, taunting me, and hating me when I try to sleep. If I try to stay awake, and don't bother with sleep, they don't bug me as much. I don't know why, but it's there." He found a Poptart, and bit into it without heating it. He also refilled his coffee cup.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you Gaara. I think it comes with having to live with the two of us." Gaara wasn't amused.

"Yeah, well, I'll see you later Temari, I gotta go to school." He put the empty cup in the sink and walked out, only to be stopped by a thick hand grabbing his hair and pulling him into the broom closet. He looked up, and felt his heart fall through the floor. There, with his blood-shot green eyes and his blond hair all askew from under his hat was Kankurou. He reeked of booze, and every slurred word was accompanied with a sharp blast of the foul air.

"Hiya Gaara boy! I's just got home, an' I fin' that yous is gonna heed out? Now, tha's not right. You wasn't gonna say 'bye to mhe."

Gaara wasn't sure what happened next. He knows that he heard his sister scream, and felt his stomach meet his spine. Then the world went black as pain erupted behind his eyes, and broken glass mixed with the hair gel he had used not too long before.

vxr

The world slowly came into focus, and then it spun like some crazy carousel. He closed his eyes again, and felt someone's hand on his forehead. He slowly opened his eyes and found the school nurse, Tsunade, above him. He blinked up at her, and groaned as his Poptart protested against him. The well-endowed nurse provided a trashcan, and moved out of his way as his meager breakfast presented itself.

"You're one lucky boy, your brother brought you here. Said that he couldn't find you last night, went looking for you, and found you not too far from here. Though, I'm not sure what happened. You were in bad shape…" Gaara stopped listening, knowing that the rest of it was another lie. He had just spilled his breakfast, if that wasn't proof that he had been home that morning, then what was? It didn't matter anymore, it happened a lot. His whole world was full of lies. Like the one that he was telling himself at the moment. He was the one that forgot that his brother liked to say good morning. He was the one that forgot that he had to leave the house early in the morning after a bashing so that he wouldn't meet his brother. He was the one that forgot that he was all that stood between his brother and his sister. He was the one that forgot that it was all his fault. All his fault. He was supposed to protected his sister from getting hurt, and he had forgotten that too. His fault. His. Not anyone else's, his. And his alone.

He knew that it was a lie. But he kept telling himself that over and over again, because then he was able to keep himself from sleeping at night. Therefore, keeping the damn voices away from him. It kept him alive at the moment. It kept him fighting. So he kept lying to himself as he walked to his first class. P.E. was going to be hell that day. At least he made it to school on time.


	2. Pool

K, so I like this side character… Hayate. Cough cough, as I called him, 'cause I couldn't pronounce his name when I first found him. He rox! Anyway. I make a comment on grammar here, and I hope that none of you take it too seriously. My math teacher called me the grammar police. I wasn't too fond of it, but it's true. I try to correct grammar whenever possible. Which is sad, because I don't tend to wait when I have a new chapter. I put it up, and worry about grammar later. So when I read it later, I see so many mistakes, and try to correct them. I also can't spell. Sucks to be me. I don't own Naruto; I like side characters, and almost all of my favorite characters die in almost every series. Ex; Hayate, Gaara (sorry, spoiler), Zaku , Yondime, Sirius Black (sorry, another spoiler), Father Abbot (Redwall), Ryan (Left Behind series), Mercucio (Romeo and Juliet)… need I say more? Anyway. sorry if i sepelled any of the names wrongNo flames, AU, have fun.

2

Pool

Gaara sat on the bench in the boy's locker room, facing his own small locker. He had already put his bag into the tall bag storage locker, and was just waiting for the reason to open his small one. While he was waiting to do so, another boy that was in his P.E. class sat down beside him, and opened his own locker. Sasuke pulled off his shirt, and tossed it into the holding pen for their stuff.

"Hey," Sasuke turned to Gaara, pushing him in the shoulder to get his attention. "You got any sun block?" Gaara glared with as much emotion as his emotionless eyes could muster. He hated bad grammar, though he himself would let one slip without thinking.

"No, I don't have any sun block. And why would you need sun block anyway?"

"We start swimming today."

Gaara's stomach disappeared. They were swimming? He didn't remember that being announced. He didn't have anything. Yes, he had his spare makeup in his locker. He wasn't stupid enough to forget _that_. But he didn't have any swim clothes. And P.E. uniforms weren't allowed in the pool… not with this teacher anyway. And Gaara really didn't feel like getting an F in class today.

"Do you have an extra pair of swim shorts?" Sasuke now had Gaara's full attention.

"Yeah, what will you give me for it?"

"I'll find you that sun block."

"Deal."

Gaara smirked inwardly. It was so easy how this class worked. You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. So Gaara stood, went over to the other side of the showers, and found the palest boy in the class. Neji was just tying his long hair into a tight bun so it wouldn't get mussed in the pool when Gaara tapped him on the shoulder.

"Do you have any tanning lotion that I may barrow?" Neji looked Gaara up and down with his white eyes, wondering how anyone could bare to wear long-sleeves and sweats in this heat.

"Yes, I do."

"How much?"

"A bag of chips at lunch."

"Sold."

They shook hands, and Gaara took his prize to his locker mate, who swapped the clothes for the bottle. Gaara then took the trunks into the stall not too far from them, and changed. Well aware of the many scars on his chest and back, he made his way back to his locker, hung up his sash, removed his fishnets, took the bottle from the stunned Sasuke, and returned it to Neji. Nodding his thanks, Gaara wandered off to stand in line to the pool deck, feeling the eyes on him.

He didn't care about the stares that he was getting; he'd felt them before. He tried not to show his scars, but he knew that it was inevitable. They'd see them at some point. The thin boy leaned against a wall, avoiding eye contact. Slouching to make himself as small as possible. Now people would know the truth… it didn't help him any. There would still be lies, and his life would still be fiction. Well, the outside life would be fiction. His home life though… that was a different tale altogether.

As the door opened, he knew that the students were avoiding him. None would sit anywhere near him for role-call, and the teacher himself, Professor Hayate, could barely stutter out his name. Then again, it might not have been the scars that made the teacher do such. This particular teacher had earned the name "Cough Cough" from the student body. He was constantly sick, and always seemed to be coughing. Hence the name. And he knew it. He would answer to the name if it were called out in the halls. He didn't really seem to mind.

Slipping into the water, the cold that seized Gaara's body was welcome without hesitation. It was hot, and to get away from the searching eyes… well, maybe the makeup running into his blue/green eyes hurt, but once that was over with it was all right. Everything had washed off, and he floated on his back, enjoying the cold water, and the free swim day that would allow him to do nothing. Too bad it didn't last long though.

"Hey! Cutter, what's you do that for? Is life _that_ hard that a knife answers it or what?" Gaara sighed, and rolled over so that he was treading the water, rather than floating on it. He hated bad grammar.

"No, I don't cut myself. Do you really think that I would be able to create something like this without some assistance? If so, then you must be more asinine that I first thought." Without waiting for a reply, he dove as deep as he could, feeling the bottom of the pool against his hands, he let himself slowly pulled back up to the surface by the water itself. They left him alone for the time being. Mainly because he got out of the pool, and to the showers. Someone followed him.

"What do you want?" Gaara shouted behind him. His teacher came from the shadows.

"To help you. Who did this to you?" Professor Zaku. How interesting.

"And you would care how?"

"Let's just say that I know what's it's like to be on the receiving end." Gaara turned and looked at the teacher like he was mad.

"I highly doubt that. How the hell could you know anything about this?" he turned away, only to feel a hand on his shoulder.

"You've probably noticed that I can't move my wrists like most people can. Kind of hard to, when you have metal tubes in your forearms." Gaara really turned around at that, surprised.

"Wha-" Gaara started, as Zaku held up his arms until they were parallel with the floor. There, at the base of his palms, were small metal pipes. And his hands could only bend so far back, and only so far forward. He couldn't twist them very well either. Or move them side to side… at all. The metal in his arms prevented that. At some point in time, they were put there.

"I don't get into water very often, I try to keep you students from seeing them, though that's a little hard. At school, I, too, was given hell by my classmates. I'd rather that you didn't have to go through what they are going to give you, and this. Tell me who does this to you?"

Gaara looked at his teacher's hands, then at the dark eyes in the dark face. They told no lie. They did want to help him. There was no way to help him.

"You can't."

"I can try. And why not?"

"Because I can't leave my sister!"

"She doesn't do this though, does she?"

"No."

"Then why-"

"When Temari was five, and Kankurou was about three, I was born. Our mother died to do that. She asked Temari to never leave us, and she swore that she wouldn't. Our father didn't though. He left two days after I was born. It took him that long to pack. He left in the middle of the night she told me. They got a lot of help from the neighbors. After all, she was only five. She swore to stay with us, and I swore to protect her."

"So that means that your brother is doing this to you."

"…"

"Gaara?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm not leaving her, and she's not leaving him. No matter what it may look like, we are a family. That's all that matters. Just give us a little while, we'll fix it." And he turned away, and went to the locker to change. Zaku didn't pursue him.


	3. Truths

K, so this one is really short, 'cause I have a really short camp break this time. So, I'm doing this one fast. There was a comment about how fast Gaara told a dear secret to Zaku, and some one (Go-ruden) asked why there were two teachers. So, this is just kind of an explanation chapter. Not much happens. There will be another… better class in the next chapter. No flames, I don't own. And I can't spell either.

3  
Truths

Gaara slammed his locker. He lied… again. It was a good lie… a damn good lie as well as a good reason… but he had lied _again_. Did the teacher realize it? Gaara had always told the story of his mother dyeing to give him life, but it wasn't the truth. No where near. Yes, his mother died in childbirth, yes, he had sworn to protect his sister, and yes, their father had left them. But that wasn't the whole thing. Temari had never sworn to stay with them, nor did she want to be in the same _house_ as Kankurou. That was no where _near_ the reason. Kankurou had asked them. Not in words, but in actions.

The first night that Kankurou had gotten drunk, he had slapped Temari. Not much, didn't even leave a mark. But he had also hurt Gaara… in the worst possible way. After waking up and having slept off the effects of the alcohol, Kankurou had begged his siblings to forgive him. He had told him that he would _never_ hurt them again, he told them that he was sorry, he told him that he would never drink again. Lies. All of it lies. Gaara was still healing when it happened again. And again, and again. Gaara was so shaken that he had locked himself in a closet for a week, not speaking, not eating, nothing… to anyone. The voices had come, and had told him that it was safe in the closet… he listened to them. After Kankurou had left for the weekend on a fishing trip with his friends, Gaara nervously crept out of the enclosed space. The voices had told him too… he listened to them.

He found Temari waiting there for him in the hall.

After about two minutes of staring at her, he crawled into her arms, and wept. He had lost a lot of weight in the closet. Not having much to begin with, his oldest sibling knew that it wasn't a good thing. She comforted him as best as she could. He was dehydrated, exhausted, and there was a strange change in his personality.

Gaara kept mumbling to himself, trying to get as close to his sister as he could. It was like he was trying to bury himself into her skin. After a while, he quieted, then he got angry. He swore that he would beat Kankurou, that he wouldn't let the older man get the best of him. He would fight until he got the upper hand. And that is why neither of them had left. Temari wanted to be there for her youngest brother, knowing that he was going to be just as stubborn as his older brother. So she stays with Gaara to help him whenever possible.

But there would be a cold day in hell before Gaara told that to anyone. He remembered Cough Cough's reaction when the roll call was taken, and he remembered Zaku's hands right in front of his eyes. Cough Cough was the roll teacher on some days… and on other days, he takes over for Zaku. As the actual P.E. teacher. Now he knew why they had two teachers, not just one like the other classes. But why did Zaku have those pipes? And who put them there?

Putting his head against the mirror, Gaara glared at his newly-re-make-upped reflection. His left eye was still swollen, only not as badly as it had been earlier. And his hair was now wet and flat. Sighing, he shook his head, trying to rid himself of the voices that were taunting him again. Telling him that he wasn't worth it, that he should just give in. He wouldn't let them win. He wouldn't… not after what Kankurou had done to him. He knew that Zaku was watching him. The other students had come in after all, and were now waiting for the damn bell to ring so that they could go to their next class. Knowing that the teacher was there, Gaara flipped him off, grabbed his backpack, and walked outside, into the light of the unknowing day.


End file.
